8:18 p.m.
It was Monday night
Thought I might
Check in with work
Before I turned out the light
Because I like to be prepared
Gunshot warning
Checked in as safe
Didn’t know where it was
Or the price we would pay
There’s no such thing as
Wrong time, wrong place
Not these days
You could be getting coffee
Or seeing a movie
Going to church
Or shopping for dinner
These kids were learning
And now we’re mourning
Their only crime was to exist
In a time as hateful as this
But I must remember
This is a uniquely American problem
I’m not numb but I haven’t cried yet
I don’t know what the word is
For what’s happening in me
But I’ve struggled to sleep
Every night since
And I don’t want to remember my dreams
And I was so close but safe at the same time
Listening to sirens and helicopters all night
While kids were frozen in place for hours
Trying not to wake up the automatic lights
Hiding in bathrooms and praying under their desks
Texting their loved ones and holding their breath
Traumatized for life
And some going through this
For the second time
One man
(More than) one gun
Didn’t care about anyone.
Fuck your thoughts and prayers,
Said a politician
I try to look for the helpers
So I don’t feel helpless
I stay up on the news
Like it makes me connected
Which must mean I’m protected,
Right?
This isn’t a drill
I know what to do
Sign, donate, educate
Sign, donate, educate
Even though it’s all too late
But not for the ones still here
The love of power
The right to own weapons
Or the power of love
The right to safe education
When will we choose differently?