On February 13, 2023 the unimaginable happened. Our place of learning and happiness became our worst fear. My second home became something I would only see in a nightmare. Just 14 months ago I remember my heart hurting for those that we lost in Oxford. I was sad and angry at the world, but was able to carry on. It’s different when it happens to you. It is one of those situations where you don’t know what it feels like until it happens to you. For me, I just feel numb. On the evening of February 13, I was walking back to my dorm room from swim practice. A walk I would take multiple times a week and never thought much about. Little did I know, as I was walking across the street from Berkey Hall that in just ten minutes all our lives would change. I am still taken aback when I think about this. It was only a few minutes after I made it to my dorm room that the MSU Alert message came out. As soon as I read the alert, I locked and barricaded my door, turned off the lights, and started texting everyone I knew to make sure they were ok. I was sitting on the floor shaking, scared and alone. I couldn’t process what was happening. I spent the entire night texting back and forth with my childhood best friend at Purdue. I was constantly updating her, telling her that I was still safe, while she continued to comfort me at this time where I felt my most vulnerable. She’s not a spartan but she was on Monday. Because when I needed her the most she supported me and that’s what spartans do. The community here is unlike any other and for that I am so thankful. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know that we can’t keep living like this. It is time for change.
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