I was at my boyfriends when we both got the email. We are both so thankful that we were off campus, but I live in mason hall. My first thought was that the shooting was so close to me, and that could have been me. I am definitely dealing with survivors guilt, and it’s so hard- I know that everything I went through is valid, but there’s a small voice in the back of my head saying that I shouldn’t be so stressed because there’s people that had it worse than me. I just have to keep reminding myself that my feelings are valid.
Also, I was listening to the police scanner the whole time we laid on the bathroom floor with the lights off for 4 hours. The police scanner went out with so many people being on it, and my mom immediately texted me and asked if I was near Hubbard. That was the scariest moment of my life. My mom heard on the scanner that there were shots fired at Hubbard, but we didn’t learn until later that that was a false report. I’m so thankful i didn’t get hurt, but it’s hard knowing that others did, and I got to go home to my family, while others didn’t. Whoever is dealing with survivors guilt, just know that your feelings are completely valid.