The night of February 13th, I was one of the lucky students not at Berkey hall or the Union. I’m lucky for being a block away from the first shooting site instead of there. I’m lucky for being able to barricade in my friends dorm. I’m lucky that the police swept my dorm hall while we listened to the scanner talk about threats in my place of living. I’m lucky I got to call and text my family and friends updates for the hours we waited in the dark. I’m lucky I was able to watch out my window after everything as police cars left campus. I’m one of the lucky ones in this situation.
The hurt, confusion, fear, and above all else numbness I am experiencing even days after is overwhelming, and I cannot even fathom being someone less lucky than me, someone at the scene, someone still fighting, or someone so senselessly taken. I am sending my love and care to all the victims, but words and condolences feel so sick and hollow during this time. We are supposed to be here to learn and grow, not run hide and fight. It’s defeating knowing nothing will come of this, my school will be the public’s spectacle for a couple weeks at most until there’s nothing new to report, classes will resume Monday, one of my professors even posted exam grades earlier today. This is our normal now, college students are expected to run hide and fight then continue on a week later. This isn’t the first school shooting and at this rate it is far from the last one.
Even though it doesn’t feel like it now, MSU is my home. I know my community will come back from this, because I know there is no strength like Spartan love.